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Moms Forum: Divorce

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McClatchy-Tribune

Moms Forum spotlights useful discussion taking place on the parenting forums of newspapers around the country.

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QUESTION: I am looking for advice on divorce. I have two girls, 11 and 6. They are struggling with the fact that Dad already has a new girlfriend, and it’s only been about 4 months. Can anyone help?

— Posted by VIA1977, on sacmomsclub.com

RESPONSES:

“I would suggest hitting the library. There have to be some helpful books out there. Especially ones just for pre-teens and little kids. Getting a divorce book targeted for pre-teens may be really helpful for your 11-year-old girl to have if she wants. Reading one together for smaller kids would most likely be good for your 6-year-old too.”

“I was an infant when my parents were divorced. I still felt a personal responsibility for the break up of my parents’ marriage as I grew older. I always had an overwhelming feeling of unworthiness when it came to my father. Now that I am a 30-year-old mother, I am finally coming to terms with the fact I can not hold myself responsible for my parents’ breakup. My advice is to reassure your kids that they are fine just how they are. I always felt lacking in some way, that had to be why my father left! Tell them routinely that they are not to blame nor could they have prevented this from happening.”

“I am a single mother with a daughter who is 11 and has issues with her dad. It is hard on kids when families are fragmented. … I was just telling my daughter this weekend that it is very common for the kids and custodial parents to have issues with how the other parent is participating in their lives or living his or her life without them. Your kids just need time and people to support them.”

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(c) 2008, McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.


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